Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Strategies for Building Self-Confidence
Hey there, high-achiever! Yes, I'm talking to you. Ever felt like a total fraud, or struggled with the thought that you don’t deserve to be “in the room?” Welcome to the club! You, my friend, might be dealing with imposter syndrome.
Sadly, you’re not alone. Up to 82% of people experience feelings of imposter phenomenon according to the Journal of General Internal Medicine. These common feelings often lead to burnout due to the high stress and anxiety of overcompensating when we think we’re not capable or have a strong sense of belonging. But fear not! We're here to kick that inner critic to the curb and boost your self-esteem in the meantime!
Imposter Syndrome: It's this burdening belief that you're not as competent as others and that eventually you will be exposed as the one who doesn’t belong. These feelings usually coincide with the fear associated with success or the tendency to compare in competitive environments.
And get this – the imposter phenomenon is everywhere! From the boardroom to the classroom, no one is immune.
So why should we care? Because living with imposter syndrome can be a real downer for your mental health and career. Feeling like a fraud can affect your performance and even lead a person to become isolated.
Thoughts of being unqualified can also cause professionals to struggle with negotiating for a suitable salary said Lisa Orbé-Austin, PhD, a New York–based psychologist, and coauthor of Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life.
Identifying Imposter Syndrome
Common Signs and Symptoms: Ever felt like you're just winging it? Or maybe you've pulled off something challenging, and yet you're convinced it was just a fluke? Yep, that's imposter syndrome for you. It's a master of disguise, but some dead giveaways include chronic self-doubt, a desire for perfection, and a deep-seated fear of failing.
Recognizing Thought Patterns: Our brains can be quite the drama queens, can't they? ...The nerve! All-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, discounting praise – it's like a bad soap opera up there. The key is to catch these thoughts in the act and shout "CUT!" like a boss director.
Strategies for Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Reframing Negative Thoughts: Next time your brain starts spewing nonsense, try challenging those irrational beliefs. Ask yourself, "Would I say this to a friend?" Spoiler alert: The answer is no. So, why say it to yourself? Let's choose kindness instead, shall we? Try creating what we call a replacement mantra. Every time you have a repetitively negative thought, immediately say your replacement mantra to yourself. An example of a replacement mantra is, "I am a highly skilled and experienced...." This coping tool will help your brain to recondition itself intentionally over time.
Building a Support Network: Find your tribe – mentors, peers, your mom's friend who always liked your Facebook posts – and lean on them. Sharing your feelings can improve your sense of belonging, give you validation, and allow others space to give you constructive feedback. Your support group will give you the reassurance that we all need.
Setting Realistic Goals: Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is self-confidence. Break those big, scary tasks into small, simple steps. And remember, every victory counts, no matter how small. Give credit where credit is due! Even a minor accomplishment deserves a celebratory high-five. Don't let the moment pass without recognizing it with a gesture that shows the appreciation and admiration you deserve.
Let go of perfectionism: Releasing the perfect picture of a particular outcome doesn’t mean you have to lower your standards, but it does mean focusing on progress rather than unattainable perfection. Equally as important, when you don’t reach your milestone resist the impulse to frame the failure as a loss. Always look for the opportunity. Go a step further by sharing the failure with a colleague. This may be outside of your comfort zone, but that’s the point. You may find that by sharing, it lessens the weight of the failure and provides a more realistic perspective of the situation.
Celebrate your accomplishments: Many of us tend to glaze over our own accomplishments. This only intensifies imposter phenomenon. Celebrating our wins encourages positive self-beliefs and helps to build momentum at the same time.
Boosting Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence
Positive Affirmations and Self-Talk: Let's turn that inner critic into your personal hype person. Positive affirmations aren't just for yoga gurus and life coaches. Tell yourself you're what you need to hear. Really be thoughtful about the phrases you choose. You'd be surprised by the mental transformation several weeks of positive affirmations can provide.
Embracing Failure: Failure is not the F-word. It's a stepping stone, not a roadblock. Reread that. So, the next time you trip up, dust yourself off and ask, "What can I learn from this epic faceplant?" Trust me, it's liberating.
Focusing on Strengths and Skills: You've got skills to pay the bills, my friend. Let's focus on those! Continuous learning is the name of the game. Keep growing, keep playing, keep thriving. That's the motto!
Practical Exercises to Combat Imposter Syndrome
Journaling: Write it out, shout it out! Reflecting on your accomplishments and challenging by putting those negative thoughts on paper can be a game-changer. Plus, it's cheaper than therapy (P.S. we love therapy too!). In order to build a consistent practice, start with a “monthly wins” tracker to keep a record of your successes. Then schedule a time to celebrate them even if only a brief moment of reflection.
Role-Playing and Visualization: Practice makes improvement, right? Visualize yourself crushing it, and soon enough, you'll be doing just that. You've got to see it before you achieve it!
Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Take a deep breath...in, out. Feel better? Good. With these strategies in your back pocket, you're well on your way to kicking imposter syndrome to the curb and boosting that self-esteem like a pro.
Well, look at you, making it to the end like a champ. See, you've got this. Remember, dealing with imposter syndrome is a part of leveling up. And while it’s possible to combat these feelings, it’s important to remember that societal systems play a major part, too. “There are ways to build resilience to impostor syndrome, but there are also real changes that need to be made to address equity,” said Salazar-Nuñez. “The problem isn’t necessarily the person; it can also be the setting or culture.” So, take a deep breath, first give yourself some grace, and remind yourself you’re here for a reason.
Additional Resources
Looking for more? Check out these insightful books, articles, and workshops on imposter syndrome and self-esteem. And hey, if you ever need to talk, don't be shy to reach out to a professional. You're worth it, and you've got a community of supporters cheering you on right here at WRP. Go get 'em!
Books:
1. "You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life" by Jen Sincero: A self-help guide that provides empowering advice for overcoming self-doubt and improving self-esteem.
2. "The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women" by Valerie Young: This book delves into why capable people suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and how to thrive in spite of it. Young provides tangible strategies to overcome imposter feelings.
3. "The Impostor Syndrome Remedy: A 30-Day Action Plan to Stop Feeling Like a Fraud" by Eileen Purdy MSW: A practical guide offering strategies and daily tasks to overcome feelings of imposter syndrome
4. "Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers: This book focuses on building confidence and overcoming fear, which can directly impact feelings associated with imposter syndrome.
Websites and Online Resources:
TED Talks: Search for talks related to imposter syndrome, confidence, and self-esteem. One notable talk is "What to do when you feel like a fraud" by Andy Molinsky.
Psychology Today: Offers numerous articles on understanding and overcoming imposter syndrome, as well as tips for boosting self-esteem.
Mindful.org: Provides mindfulness-based strategies to combat self-doubt and nurture a positive self-view.
ImpostorSyndrome.com: Created by Dr. Valerie Young, an expert on imposter syndrome, this site offers articles, resources, and workshop information.
Tools and Apps:
· CBT Thought Record Diary): This app utilizes cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to help identify and challenge negative thought patterns.
· Headspace: Offers guided meditation and mindfulness practices, which can be beneficial for managing anxiety and improving self-esteem.
· Reflectly: A journaling app that uses artificial intelligence to help you structure and reflect on your daily thoughts and problems.
Support and Networking Groups:
· Lean In Circles: A global network of small groups who meet regularly to support one another and learn new skills.
· Meetup: You can find or create local or virtual groups focused on overcoming imposter syndrome or building self-esteem.
Professional Help:
· Therapy and Counseling: Consider seeking help from a licensed therapist or counselor, especially those who specialize in imposter syndrome, self-esteem issues, or cognitive-behavioral therapy.
· Coaching and Mentorship: Look for a coach or mentor who can provide guidance, share their experiences with overcoming imposter feelings, and help boost your self-confidence.
By leveraging these resources, you can equip yourself with the knowledge, strategies, and support needed to navigate and overcome imposter syndrome while building a strong sense of self-esteem.
